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High Hopes Part-Two. Did Anyone talk to Myrna?

Part Two in the series, "High Hopes. IT Salad and the Fiascoes that Follow" by Alan Wilensky

Evil eye. Stink eye. Jaundiced eye. The SAP VAR did not like interlopers second guessing; they didn't get this far billing seven figure accounts with a 150% margin by having guys like me analyze plumbing and operational issues which they never accounted for in their wildest dreams. Not on this job, anyway.

They don't do that kind of specialized, introspective examination of processes, and why should they? They make a system that is a slightly bad to ghastly fit for 90% of the faceless installs they complete. The other 10%, they take the money and run. Client's either need an IT department with the policies and labor muscle to counter the juggernaut of an ERP worst practices program or a CIO (IT manager for the SME) who knows what strategic alignment is (is this project fulfilling a mission?).

They didn't like that I was invited; that I was there at the client's behest cut no ice whatsoever. I was like a card counter in a Vegas Casino - the house wanted to ALWAYS win, even though they make oodles. Well, tough cookies. I've been doing this for years, and in addition to my role as a contract product manager, I am an advocate for the client first, last, and always.

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Empty and vacuous, the iPhone line people

Image via Wikipedia

A writer at the Washington Post has a piece on the wisdom of waiting a week or so to get your iPhone, due to the inevitable activation snafus of the new in store process.

I will do him one better: What's wrong with you! Standing in line, for hours, for a crappy gadget. I'm ashamed of myself for even taking time to shame you. Are you empty, void of purpose, stupid? Don't you work or contribute to the economy or some civic activity? Who can afford to sit around like that? And for what? It's not like a sporting event or concert seat with a limited run - it's a device, they are slated to make 50 million of them.

Stop it now, get out of line, go home. Collect your old clothes and donate them, volunteer, or just go back to the job that you called in sick for - argh. Get a life.

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High Hopes Part-One. IT Salad and the Fiascoes that Follow

Image by billhd via Flickr

This is part one of a two part series by Alan Wilensky.

"I had high hopes for that Tuna Salad", said the IT director, "It didn't really deliver".

I was thinking about his IT problems, but in the middle of lunch with him, I thought I would respond by conjoining the two issues:

I said, "It's full of heavy metals, they have signs at Whole Foods that you shouldn't eat too much, and certainly not if pregnant".

He was not thinking about his IT problems at that precise moment, and why should he? Lunchtime was his one daytime hour away from the nightmare that had been plaguing him for months; unless I could convince him to take drastic action, the issue would continue to fester until the budget was spent, he was fired, or a decision to undertake a complete roll-back to the formerly reliable processes was made. They had certainly left  the realm of the familiar and functional for a stinking pile of ERP.

He continued: "Well, everyone here gets the Tuna Salad, and I'm not pregnant!"

I answered with a piquant anecdote that would steer the question back to where we could discuss his real problem: Big, heavy enterprise software, ill matched to the strategic mission, integrated, installed, and manhandled by a VAR's enterprise sales team of butchers. These stooges didn't know him or his industry from Adam.

This was indeed a phantasmagoria of errors with the proportions of a tragicomedy - nay, a comedia of epic dimensions that would be humorous if not for the high stakes.

Surely, like the Tuna Salad at this overpriced Luncheonette,  it was a recipe for disaster.

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Yahoo Culture - What was, is, and Could Be

I am not a professional journalist. There are no ads on this blog, and I have a tiny readership. I use this blog to drive my consulting work in alternative channel marketing and product strategy. Therefore, I don't have the kind of attributable and authoritative sources that other bloggers have on the inside of Yahoo.

What I do have is a small group of friends and professional acquaintances that are subject to all of the fear and loathing that career uncertainty brings.   These folks are not VP's or Directors, they are editors and community managers, product managers, and software engineers. I met most of them through my work at France Telecom (where I was a contract analyst for product strategy). FT opened doors for an 'under the radar guy', like myself. Lots of small Bay Area companies wanted to work with this EU telecom giant, but the only survivor of the internet's halcyon days to visit the lab (while I was there) was Yahoo.

Anyhoo, when news of a round of anticipated layoffs started to surface, I wanted to collect some opinion from my small cadre of Yahoo contacts - not necessarily for a feature article on Yahoo buzz, but more for a perspective piece on the Valley's work culture. I'm fairly certain that most folks in the techbiz are aware that prior to the Microsoft take over news, and long before the layoff news, there was a fairly rigorous re-organization taking place at Yahoo that coincided roughly with the departure of Terry Semel. 

You may also recall the famous Peanut Butter letter by Brad Garlinghouse (a TechCrunch link here).  The Garlinghouse manifesto was an early warning of an impending internal shakeup. Within my network of Yahoos, folks who perform the daily work at ye olde Purple Giant, all were moved to new departments, placed under new managers, or bumped up or down a notch in perceived responsibilities. All of these salt-of-the-earth folk got a small (though by no means symbolic) pay raise.

Following here is a smattering of paraphrased narratives that I have collected with permission. As far as attribution, I was not able to secure the release of their identities, which is understandable in this climate of uncertainty. Perhaps, when the dust settles, said one, we can go on the record.

So, take these observations for what they are: thoughts and anxieties from the collective consciousness of Big Purple's mid-level ranks, as paraphrased by an amateur blogger.

It's a take on the culture of the valley we love and loathe so much: